Let it Be

I think I live inside my head less. It’s a calmer existence, but my fuck is it ever making writing harder. When I was alone, the only conversations I was having was with myself. My time was spent connecting to the noise, creating it, or quieting it down. I had a lot to say about it because I spent a lot of time there. Now, for better or worse (I like to believe there can always be a balance, even when it comes to getting caught in thinking traps :P), I haven’t been living inside my head as much since I returned from paradise.



I’ve been really engaged with life and the “doing” aspects of living. I’ve also been reading and listening to more of Michael Neill and connecting to the ideas of essence of being and the belief that it is beyond thought. Very similar to the observer stance in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the idea is that from this place you can see thoughts as thoughts, and you understand that they aren’t powerful, directive, truths, or really anything you have to worry your pretty little head over, and they sure as fuck do not have to stand in your way. Now, living with this front and centre has lead to me not giving many fucks about my thoughts (though I’ve still had many). By not investing in them I’ve had an easier time lately just being, which is a nicer place to spend time, but a harder place to write from. 

I know I want to write more about my experience of Costa Rica, and explore living a Pura Vida life even when I’m not there. But for now, it can wait. This is something else I’m learning through my new understanding of myself and life – that things must wait until they are ready. That we can understand and accept that we don’t know the answer; that we won’t know until we know, and that we can trust that at sometime we will know and then we’ll know. Not to push it, not to struggle. Of course I don’t mean we don’t try to figure things out on our own or brainstorm or anything like that. What I mean is, if we really don’t know, we don’t force it. And we don’t struggle with it.

When reading “The Space Within” by Michael Neill I was introduced to the idea that our productiveness/creativity/performance is not something we have to go after to access, but instead, something that is always there and all we have to do is reduce the distractions.

performance = capacity – interference; In other words, when we eliminate interference, we perform closer to our full capacity.”

Michael Neill (The Space Within)

This is something I can apply to my business as well as my writing. Struggling to make an idea come up, or forcing yourself to try to write something particular, is simply not a way to access it. Instead, let it be. Accept you don’t know yet, that no ideas have come up yet, and that the quieter and more accepting of it just being there unwritten, and unknown, is the best way to ensure the ideas will be created. As a doer, an over-thinker, and an obsessive list maker – I find this one challenging. And yet, it’s so unbelievably freeing when I remember its’ truth. 

As the Beatles said… (sorry, not sorry for getting this stuck in your head)

“Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Oh, let it be. There will be an answer, let it be.”


Transition

Leaving the silence behind. During my time in Costa Rica I had ample time to reflect and space to be creative. I built up lots of enthusiasm and was excited to get back home and start putting into practice the ideas I had developed.

And then I got home. 

I’ve been home for two weeks now and I’m only just starting to feel my energy pick up and feel like I have a grasp on life. The difficulty of the transition took me by surprise. 

I was so excited to bring back Costa Rica with me, and so excited to grasp the life I was missing with all I had once I got back- and then I was so tired and overwhelmed all I felt like doing was huddling into a ball in my bed. I was very caught up with trying to keep up with regular life. It was hard not to feel like I failed.

The truth is that I didn’t fail, I just didn’t allocate any time for transition. Despite the want to be at my best the moment I stepped off the plane, the reality was very different. The only thing I really failed were my own unrealistic expectations. 

It helped just realizing that it is a transition. It’s not that I just “Can’t do regular life anymore” or that “I have lost everything I gained in Costa Rica”. It just simply is a transition. An in-between time of readjusting. If I can allow for the space to transition, it brings into mind a possibility of creating the type of transition I want. Giving full permission for the process to happen. And deliberately setting myself up to have a good transition – as its’ own special time that has its’ own purpose and value. 

It was yet another good learning experience. To have patience, compassion, to identify what I wanted to implement and the permission to hold off on the actual implementation. To know that I still have access to everything I had before, and belief that with time and recuperating the energy and enthusiasm would re-ignite. If you can accept what your now is (especially when it’s different than what you expected) it gives you a new chance to create what you need. Letting go of your previous expectations and responding to what you need in the moment. Even when that doesn’t involve changing your action – a huge shift happens when you fully embrace with compassion what you are doing (like relaxing on the couch). When you not only do it, but you let it be okay (or even good) that you are doing it. 

There are still things I haven’t started but I can feel my energy rising, and I am doing more and more (which is also doing less) as time continues. Trusting the process of the transition and myself in the process.

Seeing transition in this new light also reminds me of the other transitions that occur in our lives that this mindset could also prove to be helpful. We have many small transitions throughout our days and weeks, and bigger transitions that occur in our years (and lifetime). Are we approaching these transitions with acknowledgement of their value? Are we being mindful of what we need during the transition – or are we jumping to being in the next phase/activity? Can we give ourselves the permission to actually transition or are we expecting to be fully into the next thing without intentional time and space for the in-between?

If we can see transition as a necessary and valuable space between – how can we best anticipate them, allow space for them, and get the most out of them?