The two principles that guide my life now. Grounded and Reaching. Staying grounded in who I am, my strength, my worth, my purpose. Finding strength and calm in connecting with myself, nature, tribe. Reaching; constantly pushing myself to grow and learn and go after my dreams. Reaching – not an aimless wish, but an intentional reach for the meaningful and worthwhile. Constantly adapting. Going out on limbs, rooted in my values.
I decided I wanted a tree with such clarity I cannot even explain it. A mighty oak. Wisdom. Courage. Power. Truth. Bravery. Enduring Strength. Completely in love as soon as it came to me. I knew it was right because it felt so right. I just knew. I was so sure of it, I was immediately ready to bet my skin on it.
Now, when it came to actually getting it done I was a bit anxious. Excited and anxious, an awesome combination of overloaded limbic system :P. I was worried about the pain – my last (only) tattoo having only taken ten minutes max (and therefore not that painful) I was worried I wouldn’t be able to handle a bigger tattoo. I found myself approaching it with the same method I approach all challenges now. Mindfully taking slow breaths and staying focused on the reason why it’s worth it (which in this case involves nervously yammering on and on to the tattoo artist about why I love trees and then being deemed a tree molester). The tattoo did fucking hurt. But I’m tough. And even more important than that – it was worth it.
When it’s worth it, when it means something to you, it really doesn’t matter how hard it is. What matters is that you do it. It’s nice of course when you can feel pretty good while doing the meaningful things. And don’t get me wrong, some of my favourite strategies are those that help calm my body and mind so I can feel more grounded while I reach further. However, in my opinion (and that of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) the most important factor is that you just do it. You don’t stay stuck because you’re uncomfortable making changes or you feel anxious. You don’t wait until you get rid of those doubts or fears, you do what matters because it matters. You live your life regardless of what passengers are on your bus. You stop the tug of war hold that those fears have on you – you drop the rope and get on with it.
It was funny to me when the tattoo artist called it an upside down tree. I honestly thought he didn’t understand my vision correctly at first. The thought that it would look like it was upside down hadn’t even crossed my mind. And that makes me even happier. Because it’s my tree. It’s for me. The fact that it looks upside down to the rest of the world is irrelevant. I got this tree so I can see it and anchor to it. And that fact alone feels like an achievement in my self-love and worthiness mission.
I am in love with my tree. It feels amazing to have this visual reminder of my wisdom, my courage, my power. Living my truth – bravely. My enduring strength. This week is great timing as I venture into new territory of life coaching with public speaking, hosting new workshops, participating in an expo, and starting at a new clinic. My tree will act as an anchor. Reminding me throughout the uncomfortableness (and let’s be realistic- pure panic) of pushing outside my comfort zone – my driving principles – Grounded and Reaching.