Laying there in the middle of the room, the only light coming from the candle in the centre of the circle of meditation pillows. I’m all alone, taking in the energy and space. The room is all ready for the workshop that’s about to happen. The workshop I’m about to lead. My first workshop. And I’m not panicking. I’m not even shaking. I’m calm.
I feel an immense sense of zen.
I go through the next three hours; guiding the group through exercises I created, sharing meditations written by my own imagination. I own it. I am authentically myself through everything I say and do. Even down to what I’ve chosen to wear for the event – comfy dance pants, my mala beads, and barefeet. I let go of what I think I should be in this role, and just go with exactly who I am.
I can’t even adequately explain how right it felt. It just felt right. I found my flow. And I enjoyed every second of it. I am so grateful for everyone who participated and allowed me to have the chance to experience that. I cannot wait to do more.
The sense of calm surprised me. Being in genuine flow. It reassured me that what I’m doing is exactly what I want and need to do.
I’ve done a lot of things that I’m proud of that took a lot of courage, that involved acting despite fear. That involved facing fears while shaking in my boots and voice the entire time. And it’s not that those weren’t valuable.. This was just an entirely different ball game.
What a sense of relief when the message is so clear. Clear and calm.
It just feels right.
I’m bringing myself and showing up over and over again in my life and business. As me. 100% me. And it’s the best feeling in the entire world.
Lately, in this state of newfound confidence with who I am, I’ve been able to bring that to business ventures and my personal life and it’s really starting to pay off.
It’s like I’m developing a new level of safety and knowing, purely from within myself, that provides me with a whole new level of strength.
Things feel right. And when they don’t, I don’t do them. Or I learn my lesson pretty damn fast.
Having a strong connection to this sense of zen makes it a lot easier to make decisions and be aware when I feel disconnected from it.
Maybe it’s what people call their intuition? I’m not sure. What I do know is that the more I listen to what feels the most authentic to me, the better I am for it.