Everything changes in a moment.
Your car crashes before you know what’s happening. You sit on the curb staring at the damage in disbelief of what you see. It’s shock. It’s pain. In a moment your reality is no longer yours. Thrust into this new world, all you can do is sit in a daze. It’s like a dream, a nightmare.
In waves of consciousness the twisted metal and smoke come into focus. Feeling the rain wash over you, your wounds start to throb. This is inescapable. This changes everything. As much as you want to run from this reality, there’s an overwhelming need to chase every ounce of life it has to offer. You run head first, with arms wide open, grasping life and love as fiercely as you can.
We learn from the moments where it is undeniable how important this very moment is. When we are painfully aware that everything is temporary. It’s simultaneously crushing and life affirming. The clichés told us all along, “Make every moment count”, “Live for the moment”, “Live life to the fullest”, “There’s no time like the present”. We heard them, but we didn’t understand them. Not until that moment.
What seemed like such a simple message becomes profound in an instant.
These moments teach us in ways only pain can, and it’s a lesson we must keep learning from. The lessons are beautiful and although they do cost us a lot, they are priceless. As tragic as it is to live these moments, they give us something for the rest of our lives. We must keep clear in our hearts and minds, as painful as it can be, we have to remember to live. Now.
Life has thrown a few of these moments my way in the past couple years, and now I find myself on the side of the road again. They are piling up like cars in a junkyard, and it all feels too overwhelming at times. I feel angry and upset at my new realities, and I’m sick of having to find my footing again and again. I have moments where I don’t think I can even process the pain from the wounds these crashes leave behind. These feelings are there, but for the most part they are quiet. The emotion that screams loudest is stronger than the fear, it’s love. It’s like the heavier life seems to get, the simpler it becomes. Love and living are the only focuses and the other stuff is all bullshit that fades into the background. I feel an uncontainable urge to love everyone as fiercely as possible. To fully live every excruciating and beautiful moment life has to offer.
The pain from these lessons stay with us, in some way, forever. What’s important is that we keep the beauty with us too. The beauty that changes everything. The quiet clarity that instantly makes you understand what’s important and what’s not. The beauty that makes you understand what true living is, and gives you the drive to live it.
In a moment.
The sayings you’ve heard your entire life suddenly have new meaning. Suddenly you understand those platitudes and they are the most beautiful, truest things you’ve ever heard. I wish there was a way to say them, or write them, or shout them that would genuinely convey their powerful message.
After thinking on this for some time now, I don’t think it’s a problem with finding the right words.
I think the difference is that, after the crash, you don’t hear them – you feel them.