The Trials and Tribulations of Life as a Dragon

I knew this week would be a challenge at work, and although I was feeling far from dragon-y this week, I did manage to coax the dragon to a meeting where I presented information about an unwelcome change. I have been better at being a dragon at work over the last year, but prior to that I was one pro-looking mouse, so it’s no wonder that some people found my dragon-stance a bit shocking.

mouse

My first reaction was to beat myself up, assuming I did something wrong because of the response I received. I was back to obsessing; “If I had only done better, it would have gone better.” But the fact is, I spoke the truth (even though my voice shook) and they simply didn’t want to hear it – I can’t own their response, that’s their stuff. A valuable lesson that I’ve learned I’m learning is that we are not responsible for managing other people’s emotions, and we shouldn’t be trying to.

voiceI’m proud of myself for being a dragon even when it wasn’t easy. (Yay for commit stage – See here for more info on the stages of the readiness for change by Dr. E. A. Wilson: Wish-Want-Commit) Dealing with the consequences of doing so have been challenging though because I still struggle with wanting everyone’s approval, needing to make everyone happy, feeling unsafe when others are upset, fearing rejection, and the list goes on. It certainly helped me understand why I was a mouse for so long and why it’s so easy to get stuck in that role. However, by being a dragon and facing these consequences head on, and persevering, it has helped me challenge those beliefs and move past those fears. From this experience alone I already feel more secure with the idea of people being upset with me, and less like I need approval from everyone to keep my worth. It’s empowering to even entertain the idea that my worth could be unshaken by external forces, and I would never be moving in this direction had I kept my mouth shut.

approval

The dragon life is hard work, but nibbling on cheese never got me close to flying.

 

10 thoughts on “The Trials and Tribulations of Life as a Dragon”

  1. Yay! Being a dragon at work is definitely hard. Love the statement about confidence, we are totally fine if they don’t like us!! From my experience it’s usually the things we are scared to say can bring on some of the best changes!!

    1. Lindsay, you are so right and I think that’s what makes it so valuable to speak up – the effects that can come from doing so make it worthwhile. It’s the hard conversations that bring on the best change.. if only we can have the courage to have them 🙂

  2. yeah for being a dragon! and yeah for facing the pushback when you let your inner dragon out. When i read this, i can’t help but agree with your last part about ones worth not being tied to external forces…. Thats so hard to remember sometimes, but also so very true. 🙂 as always, thanks for the post! it always gets me thinking about my own life. 🙂

  3. Brilliant as usual! Especially this bit:
    “A valuable lesson that I’ve learned I’m learning is that we are not responsible for managing other people’s emotions, and we shouldn’t be trying to.”

    1. Thank you so much LMM 🙂 I’m so glad you liked that part – It is an important lesson for me because it’s good for us not to own their reactions, but also because by trying to manage their responses/emotions we aren’t being fair to them either.

  4. Felt very happy for you after reading this post-what an important lesson!-one that really got me thinking about my own situations and how this could be helpful to me. It’s very hard to let others negativity slide off your back-good for you dragon!! & happy special day yesterday 🙂 You’re amazing!!

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